|*26 Nov ` 04*|

* 26 Nov ` 04*

Today actually gud day de...coz I went down to orchard road..managed to buy a nice choker and a bracelet...not bad la..haha.....I really broke le now...sad-ed....anywayz...den rush home.....found my mama at plaza..den go ask abt contact lenses...too bad so expensive..cannot buy....coz 2 eyes diff degree den muz buy 2 boxes...haiz.....den she dunno wat thing not happy...tt kind of attitude....den i not happpy i say her lo...den started to quarrel on the way home...wth....den go also qurrel lo...den i angry i slp..hoping to get the anger away from me..but didn't succeed...why......becoz...my mama gib me nightmare instead of peace.....scream and me asking me to wake up....scared i slp till the next day....there's something called an alarm clock....cannot wait fer the alarm clock to ring 1st arh..i bearly slept fer an hour kays...anywayz...i nvr slp also not happy i slp also not happy..muz well die..i lock my door to slp not die inside there also..no need to scream rite....pple angry den slp 1 de u scream...make me even more angrier knoe....wth....i HATE pple disturbing my slp...it's not ur 1st time knoe me...and i've EMPHASIZE it b4..spoil my day nvm...still spoil my night...wth got into u arh today...a devil got into u arh...dun 1 things can say properly de ma..no need to gib attitude rite....always say we gib u attitude...u gib s attitude u also dunno....still say us....den we say u...u cannot tahan....same fer us rite...always say we dun understand..y r all moms like tt....cannot be more understanding arh..wth..[.we can nvr see the image of ourselves but other pples']..

|*19th Nov ' 04*|

*19th Nov ' 04*

Planned to go to The Esplanade today to find scores...but in the end didn't go...coz sian....den got flu bug....den rain some more..den no mood le lo.......Den nth to do...mama go out buy grocery den i started practicing my singing..wahahaha....feel so gud...but horx...damn...standard really drop leh....the range getting shorter..damn....cannot rich le....wah laoz...see la....4 months no choir...grrr....become like that..den now must re-train...haiyo!!!...I miss singing!!!-.=

|*13th NoVeMbEr'O4*|

*13th NoVeMbEr'O4*

Sighest!!! Haiz...been so confused over this manz...am I receiving wrong signals or what.. God's ans to me was really indirect...I don't blame Him la....I mean..I cannot be spoon-fed all the time right...haiz..Seriously speaking..I may be really feeling something...but am I denying it or what?..Should I wait or make a move? Am I a fool to wait?Am I doing the right thing? Should I forget about it? Still feel the same way too?Am I too late? Did I lose my chance already?Did I really blew it....? Sometimes good sometimes no....what does it mean??? Here's a poem taht i've adapted..haven edited a bit..

I sit in your silence

Scared

Waiting patiently

For recognition

For a word

For a breath

For a touch

But I am raw

Beacause I watch your hands

instead of writing

And listen to your breath

instead of breathing

It's strange how much my feelings

for you have grown

And the need to make you smile

And yet I'm still sitting here

Waiting for you to let me in